$7,000 preschool.

it’s march.  almost a year ago i felt like life couldn’t get more stressful (i hadn’t encountered july and august yet).  i remember i got a fortune cookie that said, “in three months you will recieve good news”  i remember counting down the days of the three months, my superstious self anxious to find out what that great news would be.  nothing really ever stuck out.  damn fortune cookie.  they always get my hopes up.  i have old fortunes taped to my fridge, some stuck in my wallet.  i don’t throw the promising ones away, sometimes i think if i discard them they won’t come true.  one time i got one that said ‘you are almost there’.  i didn’t know what race i was about to win but i got really really excited.

i am a perpetual skeptic and i didn’t quite believe this little plan would work.  starting a business and raising two babies there.  but it is.  the three of us figure it out a little more everyday.  we have our daily routines down and life is not only painless but quite fun.  i wouldn’t trade the moments of playing catch or chase or reading book after book after book for anything.  some days end in tears and some days begin in tears, but they are babies so crying is expected.  as for me, i’m not a baby so i shouldn’t cry as much as i do.  but i guess my tears just show that i am human.

the store has been open almost  a year and we have been received quite well by the citizens of alameda.  so much that we are taking a leap of faith and moving to Park Street.  Park Street in alameda is like 5th ave in New York City.  we are big time now people.  the new space is perfect size wise, location wise, and soul wise.  by that i mean, it fits, it feels right.  i think you can tell if something is meant to be or not and this feels true.  nothing was forced, things fell into place.  the landlord is a soul sister of my mothers.  she reminds me of my mother when i talk to her.  i like that.  it makes me trust her.  she picked out my favorite colors.  she is making the space look like a art gallery for royalty.  it will be gorgeous.  only i could have done it better.  there won’t be a store on Park Street, or in alameda, like it.  that scares me.     

 i guess i am like my brother in the fact that i worry incessantly about anything and everything.  and the more precious items you have in your life, the more things to worry about.  my list of precious items seems to be doubling by the day.  but i remind myself that none of this is of my doing, i am not doing it for myself, nor did i create it.  God did and therefore i have to trust that He will take care of the details.  He will take care of my precious items.  “where there is God there is food,” says Pastor dave.  

so the babies and i are preparing for a move.  we are saying goodbye to this little loft.  it seems sad, this was our home, this was our oasis.  we have become a team here, we have learned how to co-exist here.  it’s like cats, when a new one is introduced it’s best to lock them in a small room until they accept each other.  i suppose the babies and i have grown to accept each other.  we can come out of our small room now and enter the world.  we not only know each other, but we have banded together.  we are a unit, a trio, best friends.  we have reading time, naptime, lunchtime, snack time.  we play and play and discover.  shiny rocks, puzzles, toys, soon to be music (once amazon.com finally gets it together and ships my toddler tunes CD).  we are in fact a self made preschool.  we even take turns being the teacher. 

i have been reseaching preschools and every one i find costs thousands of dollars a year.  it blows my mind.  $600 a month for imagination play and naptime.  why don’t families save that money and simply spend saturdays together playing in the sand at the beach or taking a family nap together?  don’t get me wrong, i am not against social interaction, and i do believe kids benefit from it and need it.  but $600 a month doesn’t insure your kid learns to share.  all of our kids will be thrown together soon enough, they will go to school for 12 years.  they will learn the basics of sharing and social situations.  until that day (a day i DREAD by the way) i will pocket my $600 and we will continue on in our little self made preschool. 

we learn patience by taking turns at the toaster in the morning.  we learn social interation by welcoming customers into our store everyday, sharing by letting them take items home with them.  we learn respect by throwing balls safetly around glass shelves.  we learn to discover in a world of textures and objects, artifacts and scupltures. trust and love is taught by knowing that even if we hit our sister in the head, we still get hugged at the end of the day.

last march i never would have believed how perfectly peaceful this march would feel.  maybe my fortune cookie was off by a few months, maybe a piece of paper absentmindly shoved into a sweet has no control on my life. maybe believing in fortune cookies is just as silly as spending $7,000 on preschool.

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