well it seems like the two’s have hit lincoln. my happy baby, my little sweet heart seems to have a streak of demon in him. i have read all the books and i know what’s ‘going on’ in his little frusterated toddler head, but that doesn’t make it any less horrific for me. since he is my first baby, and so then my first toddler, i really have no gauge on ‘normal’. i don’t know if his antics are extreme or par for course. that’s frusterating for me. not knowing. not knowing what to do, how to do it. the dreaded wonder if i am doing it right…….
i know that lincoln is frusterated. he spends his days talking to me and i JUST DON’T SEEM TO GET IT in his mind. why oh why would i give him cheerios when he specifically said he wanted toast?! why would i sit on the pink blanket when he asked me repeatedly to sit on the brown one? the hard part is that he talks, i attempt to listen, but i can’t always hear (understand) him. so i do the wrong thing, and that drives him crazy. as i imagine it would. i am sure i have complained myself many times about talking and being ignored over and over and over. he actually must have loads of patience in order to be as controlled as he is. i mean, can you imagine what it must be like for him? to have a tall person speak really slowly to you, as if you were hard of hearing or something. to talk all day long and be ignored. you place dinner requests and they still make you pasta (for the 5th time in two weeks). i can imagine he has his own list of complaints.
i try to talk to the ‘other moms’ about it. hesitantly asking, “does aidan ever throw a fit?” oh sure she answers and then changes the subject. it drives me crazy. what does ‘oh sure’ mean? i need details, descriptions, anlaysis, data. something that says, yes, lincoln is normal. he is not possessed by satan for 35 min a week, he’s two (or almost). but instead i get a vague, non-committal answer. maybe they don’t want to shed to much light into the dark parts of motherhood. i do. it really doesn’t bother me to say, “hey this part sucks and guess what, it gets worse.” don’t get me wrong, i wouldn’t trade babies for anything in the world, but much like my outlook on the rest of life-i’m not going to lie. i’m a realist, i say it how it is. life isn’t perfect all the time and neither is motherhood. sometimes it sucks. and when a little 3 foot tall toddler is trying to manicallyhit you and scream because you sat on the wrong blanket, well, besides being slightly humerous, it kind of sucks. so, there it is, motherhood sucking 2.5 points (it gets a point for the month stella woke up every 20 minutes and half a point for labor. yep, only half a point. and that’s drug free labor) motherhood being the best thing i have ever encountered 987,456,238 and counting.