what day is it? wednesday?

it may seem odd but i often have to stop and try to figure out what day it is.  blame it on lack of sleep, lack of ability to concentrate, or just lifestyle change but it always cracks me up when i find myself sitting in the car, keys in the ignition trying to figure out if it’s wednesday or thursday.  i guess there are so many other things on my mind (did i buckle the car seat (s)? shut the stove off? are both kids in the car? are both kids OUT of the car? did any of us eat today? diapers?! ) that certain tidbits of information have to take second place in my brain. 

it’s interesting how my world has changed since the babies.  i used to get up at 4:30am in order to be at work in the city by 5:30 (giving myself enough time to stop and grab a coffee at my favorite 24hr starbucks).  much of my life revolved around work.  i often kept working long after i got home.  i often worked through lunch or simply had a latte for my meal.  i always knew what day of the week it was because everything in my life was very very scheduled.  i spent the majority of my time scheduling other people’s time, down the minute (it was fun to be my employee).  i experienced the city everyday and all it’s glory (from foggy morning cable cars to homeless drunks peeing on the sidewalks) driving to the train station i discovered the fastest route possible and drove the same way everyday.  sat in the same train car.  same seat.  i read all the time.  (i miss that). 

now i get up at 6:30 and have never been more tired.  i feel like a zombie when i attempt to get out of bed.  my life still revolves around work but that’s because my life is my work.  two little people are my work.  a store we run is my work.  i still work long after leaving because honestly, i never leave.  with babies you are always “clocked in”.  i answer those 3 am feedings with the same determination that i used to answer those late night texts.  i never leave the island.  i rarely talk to anyone besides my mom, the babies, and matt.  (that shrinks your world very very fast).  i don’t really have time to socialize.  i start the day as a trio and i end the day as a trio.  there is a lot to do inbetween waking and sleeping, and it doesn’t leave much time for ‘recreational fun’ (unless blowing bubbles and Green Eggs and Ham are considered recreational fun).

much of the day is still scheduled, or at least attemted to be.  i am a stong believer in routines and have seen lincoln thrive from one so i attempt to stick to a schedule.  key word, attempt.  with these two anything can happen.  we walk to work now (my favorite part of the day) and i take a different path everyday and walk as slow as possible. 

i still hit up starbucks, just a different location.  some habits die hard 🙂 

my life is more chaotic and more insane than it ever has been.  but i am happier than i ever was.  healthier than ever.  as i thought today about what life used to be like and what it is now i realized something.  God makes us walk a certain path so that when we find ourselves standing where we are, our journey there has prepared us. 

i’m not going to say that this new life is easy, it’s far from that and most people close to me hear me complain all too much.  but it is good.  and i was prepared.  fully prepared.  thanks for that.

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