lincoln informed me today that he wasn’t “cryin” and stella was “no mowr cryin” and he was right. there is for the most part, very little crying in the house now. stella fusses, and bosses him. and she cries when tackled. but that is basically it. life has gotten easy. well, as easy as it can get with two toddlers and two jobs.
i remember when i was pregnant with stella everyone (and i mean EVERYONE) that i passed by (grocery clerks, starbucks workers, people in elevators, basically anyone i saw) felt the need to inform me that the next year of my life would be absolute hell. i kind of loved that they didn’t even sugar coat it. most would go, “ooohhh. man are you in for it. trust me. it’s going to be SO HARD.” but the ones that had been there, that had actually experienced two babies that close (within 12 months of each other) would always follow their warning with this, “but….after that year of hell-because it will be-it’s going to be so great and so much easier than had you done it any other way. so just get through it and you will be fine.” they usually continued with something like, “mine are 34 and 35 now and still the best of friends.” i appreciated the honesty, i really did. i’m a realist and i don’t usually sugar coat things. some accuse me of complaining too much, but i figure, it’s not complaining it’s honesty. i really was that tired. and those women were right, it really was that hard. but, it’s also gotten a heck of a lot easier and i really think that in the end, the under 12 month spacing really is the best.
lincoln is two now and can understand anything, can tell me anything. he knows that if stella is going to sleep to tip toed quietly and to not talk (or interrupt). he knows that stella gets a bottle of milk while he gets a cup. he knows that sometimes mommy needs to help stella, or stella needs to get fed first and he needs to wait. he learned all these things through hours of tears (from all of us). but he gets it now. made me wonder today, would any two year old get it? i thought, if so then the two year spacing must be the perfect spacing. but then i think of my neighbor who has a two year old and a brand new baby. and it’s not easy. the older is jealous, and confused, and doesn’t ‘get it’ yet. which made me think, lincoln has been through the hard part. he’s gotten used to the baby, used to sharing, used being one of two. maybe the first year for us was harder because lincoln and i couldn’t communicate. but maybe the first year would be hard regardless of age.
either way, i see what those women were talking about. now that the tears have dried and we can move on to new adventures (talking quietly, pleases and thanks you, not tackling our sisters) it really has gotten fun. they are funny. and they are hilarious together. and they really really love each other. lincoln looks out for stella. if i ask lincoln if he wants to go somewhere his first question is always, “elle come too?” if i ask him if he’s tired he will tell me, “elle tired too.” it’s sweet. our challenges are no longer, ‘make the crying stop’ but ‘lets explore the world’. perfect time to introduce kiddo number three. which i am oddly not worried about at all. maybe because i feel like i have been to hell and back, i have seen the depths of the trenchs. i know how bad it can be and i know that even at it’s worst, it’s not that scary. it’s not that bad. people have been through worse. so what if i’m tired? someday these three will be 34, 35, 36. and i will be talking to some pregnant lady in store and scaring the crap out of her. and someday she will look back, laugh and think, “that nutjob was right.”