today Lincoln asked me 47 times if we have a ‘chim-dee’ (chimney). he then asked 57 times if everyone else in California does.
Jack decided to nap for 20 min. that’s it. while I was attempting to rock him back to sleep for the 3rd time, Stella came into the nursery. She mumbled something about her ‘wost’ cup and needing some ‘moik’ (milk). I told her as nicely as I could to go wait for me in the living room. She smiled and shouted, “ok! fanks! here ya go!” and proceeded to shut the door and lock it. (our landlords reversed the knob in that bedroom, so the push button to lock is on the outside. probably so their teenage girl couldn’t lock them out, or they could lock her in?!) I was sitting there with a No-Longer-Sleeping Jack grinning at me, grunting as he tried to wiggle out of my death grip and thinking, “shit. she just locked me in here.”
this isn’t the first time this has happened. Matt once got locked in with both Lincoln and Stella. it was an interesting afternoon is all he will say. After that I started keeping a supply of q-tips by the changing table so that we had ammo to get out, easy to pick those knob locks with a q-tip. but alas…..you put q-tips by a changing table and guess what, they get used. so, stuck I was……part of me considered curling up in lincoln’s little toddler bed, turning on the the white noise and going to sleep. but I knew they’d sniff me out after awhile looking for wost cups and moik. so I pounded on the door and shouted until Lincoln came to investigate.
“why are you being so loud? you might wake Jack up.” really? thanks for the tip.
We rushed up to the store since naptime was tossed out the window. Jack appeared starving, so I gave him is favorite, greek yoghurt. he ate the entire thing, I picked him up and he vomited all over me. greek yoghurt chunks running all down my shirt, into my belly button. I reeked. nothing like greek yoghurt baby vomit to really enhance the no-shower-for-three-days look I had going.
we attempted to dye easter eggs. what a disaster. I hate dying eggs. the dye freaks me out. they spill everything. I gave them straws (I know. Not smart. It was all I had. it was that or paring knife) to ‘stir’ the eggs in the paper cups, told Lincoln 47 times to NOT DRINK THE LIQUID. it was NOT JUICE. I look over and he’s slurping it down. seriously?! after asking, “WHY? why?!” he goes, “I was trying to make bubbles and it went the other direction.” sadly, that answer makes sense. the eggs turned out ok. the colors were a little off because I used beet juice and a combo of cake decorator food coloring. This was really a last minute activity. Lincoln seemed unimpressed and asked if we could try again with Daddy. He’s only three and already knows that Daddy tends to follow directions better than Mommy. Stella was in love. she kept cuddling the eggs. whispering, “oh so prwertty. you so coot! so coot.” Later I watched her jam her finger into one crushing it. she exclaimed in disappointment, “ah! whered de dinosaur?! dere no dinosaur in there!” she seemed slightly heartbroken. I guess, what would you expect to pop out of a pink egg?
The lack of sleep is getting to us. Making all of us punchy. We packed it up, I gathered up my vomit covered self, grabbed chunky Jack, my purse, the other two crazies, and we left. Read books out loud during dinner, a communal shower, and all off to bed. Tomorrow is Friday. our last day at work. my last day in the 20s. I promised Lincoln a Starbucks breakfast. It has been a hard week. in the words of the great Dr. Suess, “Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one.”
I wish we all lived in a world where dinosaurs hatched from pink Easter eggs.